


To The Suburbs!

by SetYourGoalsx7



Category: Glee
Genre: Fluff, Humor, M/M, glee - himym
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-14
Updated: 2014-10-14
Packaged: 2018-02-21 03:51:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2453693
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SetYourGoalsx7/pseuds/SetYourGoalsx7
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>How I Met Your Mother (episodes 7x08 & 7x11) if it was Glee.</p><p>Kurt and Blaine get an offer to move to Long Island from New York City. With a baby on the way, what is the best option for them? They get a little help from their friends (mostly Rachel).</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so, this is 2 How I Met Your Mother episodes but as if they were Glee characters. Everytime I watch HIMYM I think of Glee because of the whole NYC thing. I obviously have to change some things around to fit the dynamic of the characters so not everything is EXACTLY the same. Most the dialogue is from HIMYM 7x8 (chapter 1) and 7x11 (chapter 2). You do not have to be acquainted with HIMYM to understand this story.
> 
> This is intended just for fun. 
> 
> I do not own Glee or HIMYM in anyway, shape, or form.
> 
> Enjoy! :)

Kurt and Blaine have finally gotten their own apartment in New York City. One with real doors, one with actual walls separating the bedrooms from the main rooms, and one they picked out together and can call all their own. They were married now, it only made sense.

They were living in the loft for what felt like too long now. They moved, unpacked, and settled in quickly. Kurt added his own touch to the apartment while Blaine was just content to watch. They weren’t far from their friends or the diner; where even though none of them worked there anymore, it doesn’t stop them from frequenting it on an almost daily basis to keep up with friends and all their lives and also have a place to just hang out and relax.

It’s almost been a year since they moved. They were extremely happy especially since they have a child on the way (God bless Quinn).

Kurt’s grandparents lived out on Long Island for about 5 years now. He remembers his dad informing him and telling him to sometimes pop in to just say “hi” and Kurt told his dad not to worry, he loves stopping by. However, it’s been quite some time since he’s been over to see them.

“Hey babe?” Kurt said over dinner. He places his fork down and leans back a little in his chair.

“Yeah?” Blaine asks as he looks up at Kurt.

“It’s been awhile since we’ve seen my grandparents out on Long Island. I was thinking we should stop by tomorrow.” He said as he went back to eating his dinner, popping a piece of broccoli in his mouth.

“Sure.” Blaine replied with a smile.

\--

The next day saw Kurt and Blaine taking a 46 minute train ride out to East Meadow, Long Island. Blaine was enjoying himself quite a lot. He admittedly loved it out in the suburbs.

Blaine runs back in the house along side Kurt’s grandparents holding a small jam jar in his hands. He looks over at Kurt and excitedly shows him the jar. “Look how many fireflies I caught!”

“Don’t forget to poke holes in the jar this time, dear.” Kurts grandmother says to him with a soft smile. She moves over to her husband before turning back to the boys. “Now, we have a nice surprise for you two.”

Kurt moves over to Blaine as he links his arm through Blaine’s. “Whatever it is, we’re saying “no”. Kurt tells Blaine in a whisper.

“What?” Blaine asks with a smile.

“You know what.” Kurt replies sarcastically. “Everytime we’re here, my grandparents stick us with some big old piece of junk they’re getting rid of.” Kurt reminded him. “It’s like the world’s worst Showcase Showdown!”

Blaine thinks back to the last time the two of them visited; when they were “stuck with some big old piece of junk”.

_Kurts grandparents gathered around the large livingroom with a giant object underneath a sheet, having just informed the boys of another “nice surprise”._

_Kurts grandfather dramatically pulled off the sheet before his wife announced, “It’s a perfectly usable lawnmower!” He exclaimed as Blaine laughed and clapped gleefully. It was definitely old and used for the wear and a really unnecessary thing to have in the city._

_“We live in an apartment, Blaine!”_

_“But maybe one day, when we move to the suburbs.”_

_“We’re never moving to the suburbs!”_

\--

Blaine was brought back to the present as Kurts grandparents came closer to give a small box over to Kurt. Kurt unwrapped his arm from Blaine’s to take the box.

“Before we head out to our place in Florida, we wanted to give our favorite grandson a little something.” His grandfather informed Kurt with a smile.

Kurt examined the box before smiling. “Ooh, it’s so small. I love it!” He whispered conspiratorially to Blaine. He grew confused upon opening it to reveal something he wasn’t expecting. “A key?” He asked with his eyebrows furrowed.

“We’re giving you the house!” His grandparents said in unison with giant smiles on their faces and outstretched arms to gesture to the open area.

The boys looked up with wide eyes and really took a second to let the news sink in. They were both a little dumbfounded at the idea.

Blaine was the first to speak up in the small silence. “Kurt, I know you’ve always hated the suburbs.” He told him as he grabbed Kurt’s arm to pull him over to him. Kurt was still silent staring down at the key in his hand.

“We’ll take it!” He announced to the room to the delight of his grandparents and Blaine’s extreme confusion.

\--

Kurt, Blaine, and Rachel were all gathered at the diner. They were situated in a booth with Kurt next to Blaine, and Rachel right across. They were sipping on coffee and talking about how Kurt’s grandparents just dropped a major bomb on them.

“Kurt, you _hate_ the suburbs.” Blaine reminded his husband as he took a bite of a muffin.

“I know, babe. But my grandparents giving us this house right as our baby is on the way? It’s perfect timing!” Kurt told Blaine as he clutched his hand to amplify his point.

Blaine really thought about this. It really is no secret that he loved the suburbs. He always imagined him and Kurt moving out there one day, it was just convincing Kurt that was the problem, but now? “This is great! I’ll finally be able to barbeque with proper ventilation!” Blaine exclaimed as he thought back to the time he tried to barbeque in their small apartment before the whole place almost went up in flames.

“We’re moving to the suburbs, baby!” Kurt exclaimed before he gave Blaine a small kiss on the head and then got up to go use the restroom.

“Baby, you’re not moving to the suburbs.” Rachel said as soon as Kurt was out of earshot.

Blaine’s smile faltered as he looked up at her confused. “And why not?” He asked.

“Kurt is only agreeing to this because of “pregnancy brain”. She explained as she nonchalantly took a sip of her coffee.

“”Pregnancy brain”? That’s not a thing.” Blaine began with his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “He’s also not pregnant…so.” He added more to himself.

“It’s totally a thing! Right now his brain is marinating in a cocktail of hormones, mood swings, and jacked up nesting instincts.” She said. She noticed Blaine staring in a lack of understanding before adding, “Couvade Syndrome.”

“What? No.” Blaine said with absolute certainty. “Why would he be experiencing it and not me?”

“Think about it. Kurt has been spending almost all his time with Quinn. He accompanies her to every doctor appointment. He’s always stopping by and coddling her making sure she’s okay every second of everyday. While some may think it’s a psychosomatic condition, he’s got it. And he’s got it bad.” Rachel explained.

“Well, I may have noticed some stuff.” Blaine took a second to really think about what Rachel was saying. He thought back to the past few weeks with some of Kurt’s odd behavior.

_“I can’t find my wallet or my keys anywhere!” Kurt exclaimed as he rummaged through the couch cushions making a mess of the living room._

_“I found them here… in the freezer.” Blaine said as he pulled them out. “But where are the ice cube trays?”_

_“No idea.” Kurt replied as he picked up his satchel. The bag started to drip of water and suddenly it became clear. “Those poor ice cubes!” Kurt said as he started to cry. Blaine was super confused but hugged Kurt in comfort anyway._

“I guess he has been a little off lately.” Blaine said mulling everything over.

“A little?” Rachel said as she looked at her phone. “He just texted me asking for directions back from the bathroom…” Rachel lifted her arm and waved over to Kurt. “We’re over here, sweetie.” She said as Kurt’s face lit up and started making his way back over. She quickly turned to Blaine, “That moron should not be making major life decisions right now!” Rachel yelled at Blaine.

Artie soon joined the three of them at the table before Rachel continued lecturing Blaine. “If you let him move to the suburbs, it would be like taking advantage of a helpless drunk chick.”

“What? Where!” Artie exclaimed as he looked around. “Oh right, I have a girlfriend.” He said as he slumped in his wheelchair.

Blaine shook his head at Artie and turned back to Kurt and took both of his hands before starting to speak. He took what Rachel said to heart. “Baby, I think we should put off moving.”

“Why?” Kurt asked confused.

“Because I think the pregnancy is affecting your judgement.” Blaine said. He saw Kurt going to protest so before he could, he continued. “I know you’re not pregnant, duh. I just mean- Kurt, you’re spending all this time with Quinn, and I’m not saying you shouldn’t. I’m just saying that I think maybe spending all this time with her, you’re psychologically experiencing some of the same things that she’s going through.” Blaine tried to explain without trying to hurt Kurt’s feelings by comparing some of his latest mannerisms to a pregnant woman.

“No, Blaine.” Kurt protests. “This is an amazing opportunity that we have to take advantage of!” He explained gripping Blaine’s hand. “Just because Quinn’s body is growing a fungus fetus, OUR fungus fetus, and I’m spending all this time with her, doesn’t mean that my metal factories meal faculties are in any way funicular!” Kurt said with certainty before dropping Blaine’s hand and turning to take a sip of his drink with an “a-ha!” sort of notion.

The whole table was staring at Kurt trying to process what the hell he just said. “What?” Blaine asked in the silence.

“No idea.” Rachel replied.

\--

Kurt, Blaine, Rachel, Artie, and Sam were all at the diner once again sitting around a table in a booth. Sam was explaining about a date he went on with a girl he’s been pining over for months, only to turn out to be the worst date in the history of dates.

After explaining all the mishaps he’d been having with the girl over the past week he asked the table if he should break up with her. “Yes”, was the unanimous vote.

“Blaine, I’ve been really thinking about what you said.” Kurt turned to his husband. Blaine cocked an eyebrow at Kurt before he continued. “Let’s not make any life-changing decisions right now.” He finished with a smile as he pressed a kiss to Blaine’s lips.

“Is this because you and Quinn tried to make waffles with the laptop this morning?” Blaine asked with a smirk.

“Anyway…” Kurt said sharply. “I called a real estate broker to come and look at the house tomorrow.” He told Blaine as he got up. He quickly kissed Blaine and started to make his way out for work. “Oh by the way babe, I ordered those Ohio State Buckeyes drapes you wanted. You’re right, they’re totally gonna class up our apartment.” He said with a smile. And with that, he was out of the diner and on his way.

The table looked up at Blaine upon hearing the last of Kurt’s ramble and giving him “the look”.

“Okay yes, is it wrong to bang the drunk dude?” He started as he shrugged. “But you’re an idiot if you don’t get like… a little something.” He explained.

\--

The next day, Kurt and Blaine went out to Long Island to meet the real estate broker for the house. Blaine was looking around at everything he could have as the doorbell rang. “Oh, that must be the broker!” He heard Kurt yell from the kitchen. “Blaine, could you get that!”

“Sure.”

“Trick-or-treat!” A bunch of children dressed in various different costumes greeted him at the door.

“Oh my gosh! How cute!” Blaine exclaimed upon looking at the small children all dressed up. He then made a horrible realization. “I’m sorry, we don’t have any candy. We totally forgot about trick-or-treaters. We don’t get any where we live.” He tried to explain nicely to the children.

“Yup!” Kurt whisked in with a giant bowl of candy. “You only get this kind of cuteness in the suburbs.” He said as he piled candy into each of the kids bags. “Look how sweet, and happy, and unarmed they all are!”

“Are you using adorable little children in costumes to manipulate me?” Blaine asked in astonishment.

“Bye!” Kurt said happily and waved to the children as he closed the door.

“I mean, did you even call a real estate broker?” Blaine asked sharply.

“No.” Kurt started before a manic smile appeared. “I’ve got Couvade Syndrome like a fiddle and I’ve been playing you like a fox.” He said fiercely as he made his way up to Blaine to wrap his arms around his neck.

\--

After having sex in the master bedroom, and then realizing _they just had sex on Kurt’s grandparents old bed_ , they made their way into the livingroom. Sitting in close proximity on the couch, Kurt laid his head on Blaine’s shoulder as Blaine put his arm around Kurt. They were both lost in thought before Blaine finally broke the silence.

“If we move here, Quinn’s going to have this baby, everything will go back to normal and then you’re going to hate me for letting you do this.” Blaine said as he carded his fingers through the back of Kurt’s hair.

Kurt thought about that for a moment before replying, “We’d have so much room in the suburbs.” He moved out of Blaine’s embrace to sit up and turn towards him on the couch, one knee placed under himself. “You can get that pinball machine you’ve always wanted.” He moved his face closer to Blaine before kissing him softly. He mumbled against Blaine’s lips, “You can put it anywhere you want.”

Blaine did nothing to push Kurt away but softly replied, “Stop it. You don’t know what you’re saying.”

“Anywhere, Blaine. Upstairs.” He kissed him. “Downstairs.” Kiss. “You can stick it in the back.” He smiled manically.

“God, Kurt! I want to be in this house so bad!” He exclaimed before practically attacking Kurt on the couch.

Blaine had Kurt pinned to the couch and was hovering over him. Kurt wrapped his arms around Blaine’s neck as he seductively whispered at Blaine. “Mow my lawn. Rake my leaves. Winterize my pipes!”

“Yes! Yes! I’m coming… to terms with this decision!” Blaine shouted helplessly before going back to harshly pressing his lips against Kurt's. At that moment, they were once again interrupted by the doorbell.

Blaine reluctantly got up with Kurt following close behind. He opened the door to find more adorable kids dressed in costume. “Trick-or-treat!”

“Aw!” Kurt exclaimed as skipped over the candy bowl and proceeded to grab miscellaneous items and put them in the children’s bags. “Happy Halloween!” He shouted as he closed the front door.

“Kurt.” Blaine said smugly with a giant smirk.

“Yeah?”

“You just gave those children a stapler, a pair of sharp scissors, and a pretty decent pinot noir.” Blaine pointed out.

“I did?” Blaine nodded his head. “Oh, my God.” Kurt said helplessly. “I’m gonna miss that stapler so much!” He exclaimed before breaking out in sobs. Blaine pulled him into a hug and rubbed his back softly. “I’m not doing so great, am I?”

“Maybe not.”

“We shouldn’t make any life changing decisions now, should we?”

“Hey, look.” Blaine said as he moved them over to the couch. He took one of Kurt’s hands and let the other rub the back of Kurt’s neck. “I love you, and I love the idea of raising our kids with a lawn and a white picket fence. But, we have our whole lives to decide when and if we want to do that.” He said as he placed a kiss on the back of Kurt’s hand. “Let’s get home.”

As Kurt and Blaine went to leave, they opened the door to a kid throwing an egg at them. “That’s for the stapler!” He yelled before running away.

“I hate the suburbs.”


	2. Chapter 2

A few weeks ago, Kurt and Blaine received a gift from Kurt’s grandparents; their house on Long Island. Kurt and Blaine came to the unanimous decision to sell it for one simple reason.

“It’s Long Island… I don’t want to spend my Saturday on Long Island!” Kurt said seriously as he was laying on the couch sifting through a magazine.

Blaine joined him from the kitchen with two cups of tea, handing one over to Kurt. “I know babe, but the realtor staged the place with fake furniture and she wants us to check it out before the open house.” Blaine told him as he took a sip of his tea. 

“Well, alright.” Kurt gave in. “But can we at least do it on the fake bed?” Kurt asked hopefully with sparkling eyes. 

Blaine stared at Kurt for a few seconds before finally responding, “You know, I’m embarrassed that you have to ask.” He smiled as he leaned in to kiss Kurt lightly. 

\--

The next day, Kurt and Blaine were once again on a train over to Long Island. As soon as they entered the house, Blaine was hit with a realization.

“We’ll take it!” He exclaimed staring up at the large inside.

“Baby, we can’t take it. We’re the ones selling it.” Kurt said quizzically. “We are selling it? Right?”

Blaine took Kurt by the hand and moved him closer to him. “Babe, your grandparents gave you this house outright.” He said as he moved a stray piece of hair off Kurt’s forehead. “So the way I see it, we have five options.” He started mulling things over in his head before finishing his thought. “One: Sell it. Two: Year-round haunted house. Three: Giant fence around the perimeter… chimp sanctuary! There’s already a tire swing in the backyard!” Kurt rolled his eyes at that suggestion. “Four: We destroy it… with sledgehammers, I like four.” He said with a smile.

“Or five: We move in, raise our children, and make this our family home.” Kurt finished with a smile as he moved his hands to Blaine’s waist.

“‘Til they graduate… then we destroy it with sledgehammers… as a family.” Blaine said in a breaking voice as he wiped a fake tear from his eye.

Before long, Kurt knocked them out of their reverie. “No! No! This is crazy. We are New York people! We have a big and beautiful apartment that we love!”

“You’re right.” Blaine agreed with a kiss.

\--

After spending the day out on Long Island, Kurt and Blaine came back home to something that only happens to New Yorkers that return home from anywhere but New York… Their big, beautiful apartment… shrunk. Or so it seemed.

It felt like the boys were trying to squeeze their way through the door and after doing so finally landed with a soft plump onto the couch. Blaine moved his hands to his stomach rubbing softly. “Okay, after Thanksgiving, I’m cutting out carbs.”

\--

Every Thanksgiving, Blaine is in charge of the turkey. He always makes sure to pick the best one -after almost an hour of choosing- and making it the best damn turkey any of them have ever eaten… except Rachel, of course. Blaine was busy with the turkey in the kitchen when Rachel stopped by. She was talking to Kurt in the livingroom and he overheard Kurt explaining how it seems their apartment has gotten a lot smaller.

“What are you talking about? This place is huge!” She exclaims. “I mean look, I can dance all crazy in here!” She says as she visualizes her point by dancing around. Her purse ends up knocking over one of the lamps on the side table. “Oh.. sh-”

“Look, Rach, would you mind if we had Thanksgiving out in East Meadow this year?” Kurt asked hopefully.

“Uh yeah, I guess that’d be nice.” She said with a smile.

Blaine made his way out of the kitchen to join them in the livingroom. “Great!” He replied. “And after Thanksgiving, Kurt and I were thinking you know, maybe we’d stay at the house, until you know… we die.”

Rachel's eyes widened in horror at that comment. “What! No! You guys can’t move to Long Island!”

“But, but, the house is so nice! And it’s so clean… and if there’s cockroaches, they respect us enough to sneak around.” Kurt explained with a smile.

“Listen to yourself! This is pregnancy brain slash couvade syndrome all over again!” Rachel tried to explain.

“No no no, Quinn’s done with all that, meaning so am I. She’s moved on to weird pregnancy sex dreams… and I’ve had the wonderful joy of listening to them.” He said offensively.

“I’m just saying, Kurt. You’re not in the right mind to be making this kind of decision right now!” Rachel tried to explain. 

“You know what, Rachel’s right.” Blaine stepped in.

“Thank you! And now we’re stepping off the crazy bus!” She said honestly.

“We let the universe decide!” Blaine exclaimed.

“And now you’re back on board.” Rachel said as she rolled her eyes.

“You hear that universe!” Blaine yelled as he looked over to Kurt to make sure he was in agreement. “You send us a sign in… the next twenty-four hours, and we’ll move to Long Island! Okay… Go!”

“Ugh guys, for the last time! This place is enormous!” She emphasized by moving her arms around, successfully knocking over another lamp in the process. “Geez! How many lamps do you guys have!”

Kurt stifled a laugh as Blaine moved over to the couch to join him.

“So, what you’re saying is.” Rachel started. Trying to somehow see eye-to-eye with her two best friends. “If you’re meant to move to Long Island, some sign from the universe with magically appear at your doorstep?” She asked incredulously.

\--

A few hours later, after some wine was drunk and Kurt, Blaine, and Rachel were chatting happily in the Hummel-Anderson apartment, there was a knock on the door. Blaine moved up to answer it to see a strange man on the other side.

“Hi, I’m Clive. I live upstairs from you. Is this your sign?” The man dressed in a suit asked Blaine as he held up a “for sale” sign.

“I don’t know Clive… is it?!” Blaine asked with a giant grin.

Kurt stepped over to the man trying to explain. “Yeah, we must have left it outside. We’re selling our house on Long Island.” He told him.

“Too bad you’re not selling this place, I’d love to turn mine into a duplex.” The man said as he sadly looked up to his apartment just above them.

\--

“And I’d give you a really good price on it because I’m SO rich!” Blaine said in the man’s thick accent that appeared on his doorstep an hour ago. They were all gathered at the diner once again and Blaine was retelling the story.

“He did not say that!” Rachel chimed in.

“No, but his shoes did!” Blaine merrily said. “But anyway, the point is, we got the sign! So, we’re moving to East Meadow!”

“Let’s get some champagne!” Kurt said gleefully as he got up to get a bottle from the bar area.

\--

Rachel was back in Kurt and Blaine’s apartment trying to do everything she could to change the mind’s of her crazy best friends. Kurt and Blaine were laying lazily together on the couch as Rachel went on and on.

“You’re not leaving, and that’s final!” She yelled. Kurt proceeded to roll his eyes at his best friends antics. “Look what I bought on the street at 2am last night!” She started as she pulled items out of her purse. “A bootleg VHS of a very, very popular Korean movie! This genuine Lenny Vintone purse! And, and, and... the number of a man… who can get me a kidney!” She exclaimed with excitement. “Try doing that on Long Island!”

“Look Rachel, we appreciate that you want us to stay in the city. But, this is something that we both want. You understand that, right?” Blaine asked with hope in his eyes.

Rachel looked at the two of them before sighing. “No.” She took out a small piece of paper from her purse. “Here are a few fun facts about Long Island. One: It’s Brooklyn’s fart trail.”

“Look Rachel.” Blaine started, successfully cutting Rachel off. “The universe told us to do it, so we’re doing it.”

“Well, the universe gets it wrong sometimes!” She desperately tried to explain. “I mean, remember when Blaine was trying to decide between staying in school for performance and music or becoming a lawyer!”

_Blaine had a tough time with that. He knew performing and music was something he always dreamed of doing. But towards his sophomore year of college, he started getting doubts. He would watch everyone else being amazing and he felt as if he could never live up to their expectations let alone his own. But most importantly, he felt like he was letting Kurt down. Kurt was his number one supporter in all that, and he hated making him anything less than proud. But they had a nice long conversation, and in the end, decided on letting the universe decide. Upon letting that happen, Blaine spotted a firehouse for sale as an old school police car drove by. “Of course! It’s been right there all along! Ghostbuster!”_

“And did Blaine ever become a ghostbuster?” Rachel asked in amusement.

“That firehouse is still for sale.” Blaine said sadly.

\--

Thanksgiving finally arrived and Kurt, Blaine, and Rachel were heading out to Long Island to start the day early. Sam, Artie, and Quinn would arrive later on. 

As they were leaving their apartment Blaine was holding the tin-foiled turkey trying to make his way through the kitchen door which seems to be smaller than it was previously.

He was grunting as he was trying to squeeze himself along with the turkey through the archway. “Okay, how is this even possible!” He exclaiming trying to suck in his stomach. “‘Cause how did we even get it in here!”

“You guys are crazy!” Rachel started to explain. “This place is enormous!” She added as she started to swing her arms around yet again, knocking over a lamp. “Have you guys never heard of overhead lighting!”

\--

“You’re right. I get it. This place is great.” Rachel said as the three of them entered the Long Island home. The three of them were taking off their jackets to get themselves more comfortable. “Um, where is the restroom?” She asked.

“Oh, it’s right there.” Blaine pointed to a door with a smile.

“Oh, good… great. I’m just gonna go in there… and never come out until you agree not to move away!” Rachel yelled as she made way to the bathroom to lock herself in.

Blaine draped an arm around Kurt’s shoulders. “Well, it’s a good thing we have three bathrooms.” They proceeded to move into the kitchen to start on Thanksgiving festivities. After an hour of cooking and getting everything prepared, Rachel still hasn’t made her way out of the bathroom. Kurt and Blaine decided to try and convince her to come out.

Kurt softly knocked on the door to get the girls attention. “Rach, come out and talk to us.” He tried sweetly. 

“I’m not coming out of this bathroom until everyone stops acting crazy!” She yelled through the door.

“No one is acting crazy.” Kurt tried to explain. Except right in that moment.

“Sam and I have a baby!” Artie exclaimed as he and Sam entered the house. Blaine and Kurt looked up with wide eyes and lo and behold, there was a baby attached to Sam.

“What the hell!” Blaine yelled.

“Guys, this is Hurricane Abrams-Evans!” Artie started to explain, but not before Sam cut him off.

“Evans-Abrams!”

Sam and Artie had decided they were sick of waiting for the perfect woman to enter their lives. They weren’t getting any younger and now Kurt and Blaine were moving away, starting a family with their own kid on the way. Rachel is so focused on her Broadway lead, the two just feel so lost. They decided to adopt a kid as bros. Bro-parents they called it.

“You named your baby Hurricane!” Blaine started to say, his eyes lighting up. “That is-” One look at Kurt and he changed direction all-together. “That is ultimately inconsiderate to the child that has to live with that name.” He winked at Sam at the end of his speech.

“Okay, how the hell does Artie have a baby!” Kurt asked incredulously.

“No idea, super confused.” Sam said seriously. “I find it better to just go with it.”

“She’s super cute though, right!” Artie said as he held up the baby girl. “Uh, wait a second.” He took one sniff and knew. “Uh oh, Hurricane dookied in her drawers! Poopy-pants. Ha-ha.” He said in amusement.

“She needs a new diaper!” Kurt yelled.

“Right! Where do you keep your diapers?” Artie asked.

“We don’t have any…” 

“You don’t-- Okay, I guess I’ll go buy some. You’re gonna be parents and you don’t have any diapers! Lord, watch over that child.” Artie said as he handed over the baby girl to Kurt.

"Aw, come here, sweetie." Kurt cooed at the baby.

\--

Blaine went around the house to the bathroom window that Rachel had locked herself in. He brought a small plate with some appetizers on them as he knocked on the window. He clearly startled Rachel but she proceeded in opening the window anyway.

“Cheese?” Blaine asked with a smile. She gratefully took the plate but didn’t say anything else. Blaine crossed his arms over the window sill looking over at Rachel. “If you don’t mind me asking… what is this all about? I mean, you are one of the most strong, independent, non-locking-themselves-in-a-bathroom-on-Thanksgiving people I know. Why are you so upset about us moving?” Blaine asked with genuine curiosity.

“Maybe… maybe I just need you guys more than you think.” And she left it at that.

\--

“Sam, I’m not gonna ask where Artie got this baby. But, do you have any idea why?” Kurt asked as he bounced the baby up and down in his arms. 

“Well, a few nights ago we were talking about you know, “we hate girls, we wish we were gay”, just guy stuff.” Kurt furrowed his eyes at that. “And we kind of sort of decided to adopt a baby.” He finished lamely.

“Yeah, that’s crazy.”

“I know… is it though?” Sam asked.

“Yes.”

“I know… is it though?”

“Yes!”

“Well, so what if it’s crazy! I’ve been been ready to meet someone to settle down and start a family with forever now, and I keep not meeting her. Artie is one of my best friends in the world, we rarely fight, and once we iron out this whole pet cobra thing, we’d make amazing dads!”

Kurt felt for the boy. He did. He was lucky enough to find his soulmate so soon in life and be able to settle down with him early in life.

“Why shouldn’t we try this?” Sam asked.

“Well, when was the last time you fed her?” Kurt asked as he continued to rock the baby.

“She had some root beer on the train.” Sam told him with a serious expression.

“Oh, Sam.” Kurt shook his head. “And I’m sorry, but you cannot name a baby Hurricane!” He finished in a light yell.

“Actually, her name is Sadie.” He heard from the door. He turned around and was shocked who he saw.

“Cooper! What are you doing here!” He ran over to hand the baby over as well as give his brother-in-law a hug.

“Did Blaine not tell you we were coming?” He asked as he pointed to his wife.

“Um, no.” Kurt said with a small laugh.

“And I’m assuming Artie didn’t tell you that I asked him to babysit my daughter for a few hours while I got everything ready?” He asked as he gently handed the baby girl over to his wife.

“This is your daughter!” Kurt exclaimed with excitement. “Oh, thank god.” He added with obvious relief.

Kurt remembers Cooper briefly informing him and Blaine about 7 months ago that his wife, Julie, was pregnant. He wishes he could’ve connected the dots a lot sooner.

Blaine came back inside the house to welcome Cooper with a “Hey, Kurt… did I ever tell you Cooper and Julie are coming over for Thanksgiving?” With a giant smile and a kiss to his lips. 

Artie came back with wee-wee pads for the baby because “the pet store was closer”.

Rachel finally came out of the bathroom after having a talk with Sam.

Quinn eventually came over and everyone mulled over the fact that they could feel the baby kick, which resulted in a teary-eyed Kurt and a soothing Blaine.

Overall, it was one of the best Thanksgivings they’ve had. Family, friends, and the start of a new chapter for Kurt and Blaine.


End file.
